Scroogey

Jeez, people.

It's Christmas Eve and it just so happens I am in one of those jobs who Bah-Humbug's all the major holidays of the year, simply because diseases do not have holidays.

Could that massive stroke wait 'til tomorrow please? Couldn't your asthma have waited just a few more hours? Or maybe you could have scheduled that family dinner next week so that your gastroenteritis wouldn't disrupt my family dinner?

Bah! Humbug!

So what if people are nicer during Decembers? So what if the cold weather makes you want to stay in bed in the mornings? So what if it's time to spend with people who are close to you?

Parties? Schedule disruptions.
Exchange gifts? Added costs.
Bonuses? Work during holidays.

And to boot, I'll be on duty on the 25th of December. At the ER. Uggghh.

Bah! Humbug!

CHRISTMAS PAST

Christmases at home when I was a kid were always a family thing. Yeah, yeah, I had my share of gifts. But the time spent for those Christmas Eve parties with my mom. dad, brother and sister with all the cousins and the whole clan, was a blast. I'd get excited as soon as Christmas vacation started and I'd get ready for the whole shebang. I knew there would be games, and trivia, and singing and dancing. And I wanted to win everything. And the food was good and there were plenty to go around.

Singing, drinking, and laughter filled the night as we waited for midnight to strike and wish each other a Merry Christmas. We'd go to midnight mass and the choir would sing like angels and we'd be right there singing right along with them.

Not only were the family parties a blast, but Santa would come along and drop by with some gifts as well! Who knew the guy actually existed?! My brother and I would get that Nintendo Family Computer or Playstation we wanted, my sister would get new dolls and other toys she liked, and our parents right there smiling with us.

And the next morning, we'd get to sleep in from the reverie the night before.

Now those were Christmases.

CHRISTMAS PRESENT

I have entered the whole new world of residency training. And in most hospitals, our work knows no holidays. Yeah sure we get skeletal duties (where those not on duty don't have to come to the hospital) but so often have I been the one on duty on those days that I've forgotten how it feels NOT to come to the hospital.

The parties are still there, but with new faces -- a new family, if I may. Surely they can't take the place of siblings and parents, but they are people who share with me the same special day -- people who, like me get to work on these days when the rest of the world is taking a break.

The gifts aren't as grand, but with more meaning. The singing isn't as orchestrated but more boisterous. The dancing is more zany than actual choreography. But the fun is still there.

Reunions and classmate gatherings goodbye. I just don't have the time. Christmas shopping? I hate it because I'd have to fight off two dozen people for a shirt and get in line for 2 hours to pay for a book I found in 15 minutes. The hassle is simply not worth it.

Yeah sure, admitted patients go home as much as possible around these days, but those that are left are those patients we really need to keep an eye on -- patients who could possibly die.

And that brings me back to reality.

CHRISTMAS FUTURE


I dream of a Christmas where family, friends, and happiness are all around me.

Yeah, Dickens had that morbid Christmas future where Scrooge gets buried without anybody going to his funeral, but this is MY Christmas Carol and not Dickens'.

Being with people you care about and love unconditionally is simply the best way to spend Christmas for me. Those days will come -- days where I will watch the smiles on my own kids' faces as they get their gifts from under that Christmas tree in the living room and run around with their new toys, getting hugs and smiles from my parents as they get their second serving of spaghetti, seeing my brother's and sister's families gather for gift-giving and sharing stories, and watch my wife's face glow as she puts on that simple but elegant necklace I got her -- days that will make Christmases worth waiting 11 months for.

Then we'd go to Christmas mass and sing with the choir, thanking Him whose birth we celebrate, for a day in the year where everybody are truly who they are meant to be -- people that care.

RIGHT NOW


As the blog spirits of Christmas past, present and future have brought me back to this keyboard and cubicle in this small internet shop beneath CIM, I've realized I've had a lot of Christmases to be thankful for, as I'm thankful for the Christmas I have this year, and for all the Christmases to come.

I've gotten this much-needed skeletal duty day off from Santa and I'm sure he's probably halfway to Brazil by now, and I spent it sleeping in, walking around the mall, and seeing Tonett at work. Simply put, doing nothing and being a bum. Yup, that's what I asked for Christmas, a break -- a day to be a bum, haha.

I'll be going on duty tomorrow, and I don't know what it holds for me. Yup, I'll be scared as heck at that ER desk, but I'd be in the company of people who are less scared or just as scared, and in that it's a better thing than spending Christmas day alone.

And I ask myself, why can't people care like this all year long? Is it that difficult to be nice for 525,600 minutes?

We can try.

And until that time comes, I'll take that one time in the year when everything glows a little bit brighter, when people care a little bit more for others than themselves, when everything is about giving rather than receiving, and, in this sometimes Scrooged mind, everything is how it is really meant to be.

Merry Christmas to one and all!