Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Lull of Lent

Cebu is surprisingly quiet for Lent -- that is compared to the regular hustle and bustle of the regular work week. I still remember celebrating the Holy Week in Dumaguete and recall the near empty streets, the processions, and the one of the few days of the year, or if not the only day, where we don't open up shop at the market to sell meat.

I came from duty on Maundy Thursday and we were on skeletal duty (to the nonmedical people, meaning only those on duty would be roaming the hospital). After endorsement, I was on my way home, and I the lesser-than-usual number of taxis and jeepneys driving around, the malls were closed and the quiet was a nice change from the honking and the revving of engines.

I spent most of the day sleeping, enjoying the peace and the sedative effects of the mid-afternoon breeze and went to say a few words of thanks at the church.

Good Friday was even more serene and beautiful and I took time to breathe in the freshest air I've ever inhaled since I've been in Cebu. I took the time to do some long overdue cleaning.

This was always the best thing about the Holy Week -- the peace, the quiet, the time for reflections, and in the same way I've always ended it, a prayer of thanks for Him who came and saved me.

And of course gave me a schedule where I could enjoy two skeletal duties in a row.

In connection, a couple of my posts that I remember having fun making or just simply made my day:

1. Who Wants To Be A Superhero?

2. Some Good Things

3. A Pedestal For Mellie

4. It's A Little Bit...

5. Piano By Starlight

6. The Years Gone By

7. Death Becomes You

8. In Sickness and In Health

9. Behind the Half-Rimmed Specs

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Behind the Half-Rimmed Specs

Ahh, introspection. Where does one begin?

Lying down in my quaint rented bedroom, staring at the dirty-white paint on my ceiling, I paused to think how to write this next entry. As sleep slowly drifted and took away my conscious perception of the night, I took off my glasses and just stared into the blur.

There are two sides to my life at the moment, the one that exists and the one that exists in my head. The basics are out there -- Dumaguete City, Physical Therapy and on through medicine, though I never knew exactly why and how I came to be the doctor I am today and residency is the imposing and prevailing presence in my life at the moment.

I blink and pause to think about what I could do had I not chosen this path. I still love to lose myself in music and song as I float my fingers over a piano, or find solace and freedom in the lyrics I can make with a simple melody. Or had I worked hard enough, could I have played a sport for a living? Or anything remotely related to sports? How about movies? Me and showbiz...

I blink again and realize, I'm drifting off into slumber. Well, I guess while I'll do medicine, I'd do all those other stuff on the side.

Reflecting on the day that has passed, I still remember the mortalities that mattered, the mistakes and the right decisions, the days where I was too tired to think and the good days where going into a patient's room and giving good or bad news came easy. There those really depressing days where I'm tempted to stop and rest and those days where I feel really good that I did something right.

I twist in bed and accidentally roll over onto my glasses and I quickly remove it from under my shoulder and place it on my side-table.

These glasses don't hide a Superman, but I'd love to be a mild-mannered doctor and leap tall buildings in a single bound as well. I'd be the Philippines' alternative hero to Manny Pacquiao. I'd stop bad guys left and right, arrest corrupt officials, get rich, save lives, be someone, and the whole world will remember me....

And then I wake up...

Stare into the streaming sunlight...

Off to work again.

Maybe tonight I'll dream another dream.

I take a bath, stuff all my books and clothes in a bag, take my glasses from the table and got ready to go though another day. Oh the joy...