Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Little Time

Ah, prose, how I've missed you.

It's been a while since I've written anything of note that wasn't an introduction to a research paper I'm supposed to continue, a meta-analysis that will have to be finished by the end of the month, the gazillions of reports on basic cardiology, arrhythmias, vascular lesions and echocardiograms.

It is now, 10:34 pm on the 13th of July and taking a break from running around in the wards, that I am taking time to write in a few things in this taken-for-granted blog.

First, I am in fellowship. For the run-of-the-mill reader of this blog, I am referring to my never-ending quest to better myself as a doctor, which involves finishing another 3 years of Cardiology training on top of the 3 years of Internal Medicine, the 1 year of post graduate internship and 4 years of medical school. Oh, and to top it all off, there might be a possibility that there could be another year of subspecialty training after this.

Yes, there are times I question my sanity. The pay is paltry, the hours are wickedly draining, and the stress is beyond belief. I questioned it all the more when I recently found out that our security guards, with all the hazard pay, earn more in a month than I do.

But seemingly, I think I belong. I'm where I'm supposed to be -- learning more, treating patients and until the Great Planner up there changes up the script for me, I'm here to stay.

Second, I have graduated from being a resident, to dealing with residents. And every single day, I ask myself, "Was I this hopeless when I started out?" I'd like to think that I turned out okay.

It is a very very busy world I exist in these days but I've finally found a moment in between exams, reports, research, patient rounds and echocardiograms to just sit down, reflect and as this day would have it, write down a few words.