Thursday, September 4, 2008

Debriefing (My 76)

I got my Student Performance Evaluation sheets back today. These letters are requested from the school when applying for residency and further training and sent to the offices of the prospective employers.

They contain tidbits on our character as students -- how we looked to our superiors when we were roaming the halls of CIM aimlessly -- and are purely subjective.

The problem with these evaluations is that they go on your permanent record. It's stuck with your applications to every hospital you apply to, and the next, and the next. It's like cattle getting branded.

My IM evaluation said as a leader, I was not good in unifying the group members, and secondly, I was not confident in answering questions during endorsements.

Well, it's quite convenient that I'm also thinking applying to IM. Aaarrghh.

I'm not really angry nor upset. What I'm feeling right now is more amused than anything else.

Stuff I'd like to point out:

1. We do not hold elections to see who leads the group during internship. With the 5 of us in the group, the fact that I was seen as a leader is kind of a testament to the kind of person I am.

2. The IM rotation is one of the more dreaded departments in Velez due to its patient load and paperwork, so usually, everybody tries to get their own stuff done on time. That may seem like non-unity to other people, but I'd like to say it's more survival than anything.

3. Confidence is in short supply when you're an intern. I've never backed away from questioning. I acknowledge that though I have strong points in certain subjects, I'm notoriously weak in some. In those cases, I choose to shut up, listen and wait for someone to teach me rather than blabber away in an attempt to cover up my incompetence. It doesn't help that the barrage of questions doesn't stop until you've finally run out of answers. I don't care if I'm berated, made insignificant or insulted, just as long as I get taught the right thing.

4. I acknowledge that our group did not have the best dynamic. But we did our jobs.

Out all the other stuff they could have extolled, they chose to put that in my evaluation. I didn't even merit the "satisfactory performance" cop out comment? Hahaha. Really? Out of my month-long rotation in Internal Medicine, that was all they remembered about how I worked? Jeeeeez, talk about selective memory.

Oh well, I don't really how hospitals go about selecting their residents, but I certainly hope they look at other aspects of a candidate other than a comment on a sheet of paper.

Well, to me, it's just another evaluation to prove wrong.


Ligaya said...

i wonder why they took it out on you personally though...

maybe they had the whole bunch of evaluation forms for your group in front of them tapos they made such horrible comments on the others' evaluation sheets that they had to put a bit of bad on yours too

bitaw ngano jud ikaw man ang tagaan sa task nga i-unite ang group? why not si...let's say, si april?

bitaw you're right, the fact nga they looked to you to make things right is a testament to the kind of person you are. your group was just *kinda* too dysfunctional to make right hehehe

don't you feel better after writing all that down? hehe

bricalz said...

I guess, the lack of better options put me up there. Hahaha.

Don't be too harsh on my group.

Haha, I grew to understand and became good friends with Shailyn. The enigma of Epoy, I always knew, never quite got, but still a friend nonetheless (wa lang cya nangimbitar sa iya kasal, gago haha). Pura was ok I guess, appeared to have other priorities and "wiser" beyond our years. And April, well, I guess part of me understands now.

Crazy. TUVMA.

MerryCherry, MD said...

Wow, your evaluation is very, very specific.

You know what, I believe that the true test of how good an MD you are comes when you go into practice.

Let me share this with you, a signature of one of the members of Pinoy.MD -- The best doctors are not necessarily the brightest ones.

bricalz said...

How true that is Dr Merrycherry. In that scenario, I certainly pray I'm eventually going to be one of the former.

Haha, I must have made either an impression or a really harsh critic with my uhm (un)confidence and my (mis)leadership to merit such a comment.

Anyway, I was amused because another department commended me on the same qualities in question. Hahaha.

Truly, the best evaluations are in the eye of the unbiased beholder.

Ligaya said...

I got my MSPE this morning. akong ophtha kay something like kinahanglan jud kuno ko ug guidance nya kinahanglan pa ko sultian jud exactly unsa ang trabaho. eh alangan!! sa kadaghan sa ilang rules and possible offenses, kinsa'y di maniguro...

tapos akong pedia kay reliable ra man daw ko (in fairness! naay nasulti na okay) pero mo-insist daw ko bisan sayop ko. hehe. fair enough. i insist not because i'm wrong but because i think i'm right. fair enough. hehe!

and that ob-out "needs improvement" from pangit

not worth writing a blog about so ni-comment na lang ko. you're not the only one with negative comments sa MSPE ;-)