In A Better Place

I was never really around her very long. Even on those days when she would come to visit us in Dumaguete -- on certain Christmases, on a few of her physician check-ups, or just to come see us -- I was not as close to her as grandkids to grandparents were. Maybe it was because of the distance between San Carlos City and my hometown, or maybe it was the time spent away from each other, I can't really put a finger on it but I was never really with her for very long.

Those times however few, were beautiful moments in themselves. I did not know her favorite color, her love story with my paternal grandfather, her favorite activities to pass the time away, yet I loved her with all my heart.

She passed away quietly last Saturday afternoon.

I knew she loved me too. I was the first grandson on my father's side and I knew she held me in a special light when she came all the way from San Carlos to attend my college graduation. I vaguely remember summer vacations where she would be concerned over my throwing up on the bus on arriving in San Carlos, getting us sheets for the beds I and my siblings would be sleeping in and asking my younger cousins to play with us and make us feel at home.

For that, Lola, and so much more, thank you.

I knew she loved me too, whenever I looked into her eyes from greeting her and seeing that familiar twinkle, matched with a smile that made you feel like you were the best grandson in the world. She looked every bit the wise and compassionate grandmother that I could always run to when times I needed advice.

For that, Lola, and so much more, thank you.

She was a teacher. And from the people that I know who knew her, she was a good one. She was just as great as a mother raising my dad and his brothers.

I wish she could have seen me during my wedding, one of the happiest days of my life, but she texted that she would be here in spirit, being that she was not feeling too good and probably would have been too tired from the travel and I thanked her. She was already diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease with all its complications, anemia, a fast-rising creatinine, hypertension, and deep inside I knew that it was a battle that could not be won. She had had several hospitalizations in hospitals near San Carlos and I kept in touch with my cousins all throughout these last few years trying to help in her treatments.

She lost that battle last Saturday, and is now in a far better place than where I am.

My Dad mentioned that an aunt said that even though I never got to see her during this last few years and despite our consults being short text messages through my cousins, Lola always considered me as one of her doctors.

I am 'la. And always will be.

You will be remembered. We love you. Rest in peace.