Ahh, introspection. Where does one begin?
Lying down in my quaint rented bedroom, staring at the dirty-white paint on my ceiling, I paused to think how to write this next entry. As sleep slowly drifted and took away my conscious perception of the night, I took off my glasses and just stared into the blur.
There are two sides to my life at the moment, the one that exists and the one that exists in my head. The basics are out there -- Dumaguete City, Physical Therapy and on through medicine, though I never knew exactly why and how I came to be the doctor I am today and residency is the imposing and prevailing presence in my life at the moment.
I blink and pause to think about what I could do had I not chosen this path. I still love to lose myself in music and song as I float my fingers over a piano, or find solace and freedom in the lyrics I can make with a simple melody. Or had I worked hard enough, could I have played a sport for a living? Or anything remotely related to sports? How about movies? Me and showbiz...
I blink again and realize, I'm drifting off into slumber. Well, I guess while I'll do medicine, I'd do all those other stuff on the side.
Reflecting on the day that has passed, I still remember the mortalities that mattered, the mistakes and the right decisions, the days where I was too tired to think and the good days where going into a patient's room and giving good or bad news came easy. There those really depressing days where I'm tempted to stop and rest and those days where I feel really good that I did something right.
I twist in bed and accidentally roll over onto my glasses and I quickly remove it from under my shoulder and place it on my side-table.
These glasses don't hide a Superman, but I'd love to be a mild-mannered doctor and leap tall buildings in a single bound as well. I'd be the Philippines' alternative hero to Manny Pacquiao. I'd stop bad guys left and right, arrest corrupt officials, get rich, save lives, be someone, and the whole world will remember me....
And then I wake up...
Stare into the streaming sunlight...
Off to work again.
Maybe tonight I'll dream another dream.
I take a bath, stuff all my books and clothes in a bag, take my glasses from the table and got ready to go though another day. Oh the joy...
11 comments:
Superman...
Don't you just wish. :)
Trust me, your first year of residency will pass by like a blur, and the next thing you know... Uy, senior resident na diay ka!
Are you just doing residency in Cebu?
I'm extending the same invitation to you as I did to Gaya, to meet one of these days over coffee for you and ice tea for me. Hehehe...
Kanang dili lang siguro ka previous kay matulog ra unya ka. :)
nice post bri.... just a tip, don't get caught in the daily grind. :-)
some day, brian.
gosh, i swore to never have expensive glasses as i'm prone to rolling over them. hehehe.
one thing i realize is that most doctors have lots of talent and potential. in some sense, they're put to waste when they become doctors. just kidding.
Very well written, Clark Kent. Writer ka talaga.
Hehe, thanks megamom. Gaya would have killed me if I didn't write something for her TBR. Haha
Doc mel, which is exactly why I didn't get the expensive ones as well, or maybe we should get the expensive ones coz they don't break easily?
Hey steph, er, sonia. Haha. Once you're done with the boards and you get to practice what you studied really hard for, you can't help but get sucked into the daily grind. You just got to roll with the punches, I guess.
Haha, no probs doc JA. Not much of a coffee drinker. You get your iced tea, Gaya gets her capuccino, and I'll take a little snooze. Haha. Next time I bring a patient over for an MRI or a CT at your hospital, I'll be sure to look you up.
A mild-mannered doctor is EXACTLY how I picture you kuya bri. I can see you doing the other stuff (music, leaping buildings) too.
Naa na round-up! Haha, at last. http://ligayasolera.blogspot.com/2009/04/tbr-mds-their-lives-and-letters.html
Thanks for contributing. And yes I would have killed you if you hadn't. :-P
Don't worry, sooner or later, your other talents will be discovered in residency. It's some kind of a rite of passage providing entertainment to your seniors. And that musicality may come in handy for the Christmas caroling! Happy easter.
Perhaps Gaya and I will coax you to sing during our TBR eyeball, para dili ka ma-tulog... hehehe...
Sure, pangitaa lang ko if mag-hatod ka patient amoa hospital...
Juvy a.k.a. J.A.
Well written Superman, err, Brian. Sooner than later, you will be Superman in many patients' lives. In fact, I think you already are. :)
Re eyeglasses: I have lots and lots of them. Super cheap ones. One for here and here and there and there. Kung mawala man o mahigaan man, di masyadong masakit.
Yeah, Bri, one day at a time lang. Before you know it, you'll have a room of your own with your name on the door. !! Wheehah!
Surviving Residency is actually a function of balancing whats rammed into your face (outside that half rimmed glasses)and what that gray matter behind the half rimmed glasses could withstand and imbibe...never side with the extremes and you'll end up somewhere else but residency...
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