It's A Little Bit...

It's a little bit:

SCARY, with just, gulp, 9 more days to the board exams as I write this. Panicking might be an understatement. Will I ever be ready? I look at some of my classmates like Domeng, who answers every simple recall question with explanations on the answer; Barbs, who zips in and out of lectures to get to her books for probably her third reading; Nelson, who gives out trivia that even I've never heard of; Chofi, who probably is one of the smartest classmates I know; and Gaya (don't deny it), who claims she is layo pa ayo (not close) in her preparation and readings, but answers all my mock questions right. (OK, most of them, which is still pretty remarkable).

It's a little bit:

UNFAIR, when I realize that I'll be measured with how I do in this exam -- an exam that would probably be more of a test of what I do not know, than what I actually do. That may be an exaggeration, but I do hope I know enough to pass it, because I think I have the bare minimum, at least, to become a doctor. We all know the learning in medicine never ends, so I just want to continue on the journey.

It's a little bit:

FUNNY, at the mezannine of the Cebu Institute of Medicine, where I often study these days, that at one end, the reviewees are arguing on the hand intrinsics, muscle insertions, bones and anatomy whatnot and the first year medical students are on the other side studying the same thing.

It's a little bit:

WEARY right now after a long day of G6PD, glycolysis, glycogenesis, gluconeogenesis, TCA, among other biochemistry stuff.

It's a little bit:

OF A BUMMER, when I've been waiting since the end of the Pistons season for a big trade for a big-time player, and we sign Kwame Brown. Oh well, I still believe. (Had to put that in there).

It's a little bit:

NICE, when I space out and just think of life after the board exams. Hopefully we all pass, thinking about specialties, jobs, helping, and other cool stuff like a much needed vacation and a good night's sleep.

It's a little bit:

CRAZY, that I panicked yesterday and hardly got anything done with biochemistry when I realized that there were 10 days left. Then there was this blog where the entry was about suicide was an option, then I reread it and saw NOT in the title.

It's a little bit:

COMFORTING, that friends like Gaya, Tonett, Maricel, Neil Wayne sometimes come out and say openly that "I'm praying for all of us to pass," or "I'm praying for you." It's just nice to know that we are praying for each other to pass and get through this. It's more than enough to bring a smile to my face and give me comfort when I realize that these people are also pulling for me to pass like I am for them.

It's a little bit:

WONDERFUL, how the spirit of God can calm you like no anxiolytic can. I took the time to go to the chapel to accompany Neil Wayne to his meeting for celebrating a mass for the batch at the Divine Mercy Chapel (in Velez Hospital), and I slipped in for a conversation with Him. It was mostly me talking, but I know He heard. He spoke to me through Tonett, through Neil, through my friends, through Gaya's blog, and even through the gentle breeze to dry my perspiration down. I got down to studying. I may not finish it all, but I got some stuff down pat. I think. Wait, let's change that, It's WONDERFUL how even the faintest thought of Him gives one the strength to do more, to be more.

It's a little bit:

CONTRARY to my previous post that I am posting. I guess I couldn't wait. Hahaha